On Not Saying Goodbye

There’s this thing on the ship that people talk about all the time. Or maybe they don’t talk about it enough. It’s a nasty little gut check, a surprise I got this week as posts from DFW, Heathrow and Tenerife filled my newsfeed.

Every day, Mercy Shippers make you fall in love with them and then they leave.

They leave Texas for the ship. They leave the ship to go home, or they leave the ship forever to write the next chapter in their lives. After returning from field service in Haiti, and saying goodbye (or not) to a group of 30 (not 31) people who forced me to come up higher, listen harder, pray deeper and trust God more than I ever have, my heart broke in new and unusual ways.

My gosh, I’ve only known them for eight weeks. Please. But I’ve been skulking around their lives the whole time, asking questions I can’t even believe I ask. Questions that maybe we should ask more often in church, but don’t because we’re too busy, polite or afraid.

“Tell me about your Dad.”

“What’s the Lord saying about that?”

“What’s happening on the boyfriend front?”

I don’t know who gave me permission, maybe I just gave it to myself, but when you ask hard questions, people bristle, they fight, they cry or they breathe a sigh of relief and say, “My God, do you see me in here?”

Jesus sees you in there. It’s his light we’re shining. His is the only one I’ve found that reliably chases out the darkness. There are people sitting next to you right now, whose story would break you in half, if you knew it, but we avoid it because people are messy and loving them is costly.

Especially when they leave.

I’ve decided this is the Lord’s way of teaching me empathy for the crew of the Africa Mercy – people who live, work, eat, cry, pray and laugh together until the day they walk down the gangway in tears or stand atop it in tears, waving. Painful goodbyes are such a regular event on the ship, people say they’re not sure leasing real estate in their hearts is worth it. They know exactly how bereft that land will be when their sweet little squatters are gone.

That’s plainer to me now after a year of Gateways, and in particular this field service in Haiti, where I camped on a bunch of new real estate and let people camp on mine.

One day, when I nearly hurled a garden hoe across a huge weedy field and later sat on a 100-degree rooftop and cried, two different somebodies showed up to remind me that God is working in me too, and if all I can muster is to walk humbly as I grope my way through, well then, they’d happily stand by, praying.

I’d love to say I have a salve for the painful goodbye, but I don’t and frankly I doubt I’m meant to. Maybe a little longing, a little pain is part of the fullness Jesus had in mind when he explained what he was doing here. Remember Jesus didn’t promise us happy, he promised us full, and there is a difference. So if full means missing these faces until I climb the gangway again, I’ll take it.

Ship videographer Josh Callow put it like this in a blog post he called The Pieces of My Scattered Heart, which I beg you to read because it’s his heart laid bare on this topic, in a fearless and magnificent display.

The thing that is so great about Mercy Ships is the ferocity with which we love. These people that travel across the world to work for no pay to serve the poorest of the poor are some of the most selfless folks you’ll ever meet. They dive in head first and love at full speed…

So June 2014 On Boarding – Go dive in and love at full speed. Then pair up in threes as soon as you can.

xoErin

10429298_10152355639114737_1422943316129289360_n*As ever, the thoughts are my own, not those of Mercy Ships, but I’m pretty sure you know that.

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On Finally Boarding.

After two weeks of radio silence, our newest team of Mercy Ships volunteers has finally joined the Africa Mercy.

I’ve seen 100 pictures of the ship, but it is SO MUCH BETTER when people you’ve grown to love are standing in front of it. There’s Ally from the UK and Lewanna from BC with Stefan our Field Service Director.

Photo Credit: Amy Jones

Photo Credit: Amy Jones

Prior to boarding, the team spent two weeks working in a local orphanage in Pointe Noire, Congo. Since there was no internet connection (nor running water or power evidently) I’ve been jumping out of my skin in Texas to hear how it’s going, because someday I’ll get to go too.

KJ from Seattle wrote a fun post about it here. Ally and Amy, husband and wife team from the UK photographed it here and wrote about it here. Katie and Jordan from Ohio talk about it here. If you’d like to see missionary work in action, complete with its myriad heartbreak and surprise, take a moment and check out these blogs.

Photo Credit: Amy Jones

Photo Credit: Amy Jones

All of these people have committed to living on the Africa Mercy for at least 10 months. Some are planning to be there for years. They raise their own money and actually pay Mercy Ships to do this, committing their lives and finances to deliver healthcare to the poorest of the world’s poor.

The money part used to seem weird to me, but it doesn’t anymore. It’s just another example of how life works in the beautiful, radical, upside down Kingdom of God.

**As ever, the views expressed herein are my own and not of that of Mercy Ships International.

I Really Am Going to the Sea.

We’ve got some big news around here.

I have just accepted a position with Mercy Ships, a Christian, non-profit organization that runs the largest non-governmental hospital ship in the world. Since 1978, Mercy Ships has provided more than $1 billion in medical services for more than 2.35 million people, through approximately 575 port visits in 54 developing and 18 developed nations.

English: The Africa Mercy, operated by Mercy S...

While the MV Africa Mercy is currently docked in West Africa, the organization is headquartered in Garden Valley, Texas, 30 minutes from my house.

I will be working with the doctors, nurses and laypeople who travel from all over the world to volunteer on the ship. My job is to help prepare them. The team arrives in Texas next Saturday, and while there are shorter terms of service, this group has committed a minimum of ten months. All this may send me to West Africa for a few weeks, a couple of times a year.

Yah, I’m still absorbing all that too.

Mercy Ships was featured on 60 Minutes last month and if you’ve got 12 minutes, this segment is pretty inspiring. Former U.S. Press Secretary Dana Perino spent all last week on the Africa Mercy as well. You can read her thoughts here.