Looking For The High Life? Me Too.

January 16, 2013January 16, 2013 / Erin Kirk / 3 Comments

Wouldn’t it be amazing to possess perfect knowledge of divine will at all times?

“Don’t say that. Say this instead.”

“Don’t seek that promotion, I’ve got something better.”

“You’re brilliant. I love your work. Try cerulean instead of navy.”

What trouble it would save me to have an ever-present, eternally correct life coach whispering suggestions in my ear. This morning I read something the Apostle Paul prayed for the Colossians, and I wonder if those people realized how lucky they were.

We (I think this means Paul and Timothy) continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: Bearing fruit in every good work, growing the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience. Colossians 1:9-11

I want somebody to pray that for me.

I want to bear big, ripe fruit and grow into the lavish fullness of my creator’s vision, but I have to do constant battle with my mind for it. After three decades of following my own wisdom and understanding, I’m habituated to earthly behavior. I’m reflexively judgmental and occasionally stingy, I excel at crafting articulate and blistering arguments, and I will throw plates, if necessary.

But that’s all low-life; it’s common, broad path and vulgar, and none of it’s from God. Sadly, without attentive surrender, it’s also the behavior I am likely to choose. So maybe, if Paul were praying for me, I’d set down the plate and hear God say:

“Sure that guy is being a jerk, but you have no idea how scared he is, the alcohol is just an expression of it. Be kinder than necessary, suffer his nonsense, so he can see Me through you.”

According to the gospels, that’s how God thinks and aligning with it leads us into high, spacious places. Lord…In your presence is the fullness of joy. Psalm 16:11

So, I’ve decided to say Paul’s prayer over people in my life. Fearing I wouldn’t remember the words, I posted them on an image I took in the Colorado High Country. You’re welcome to print it up, if you like, so you can pray it over the people in your lives (and maybe me) too. Change the pronouns as needed.

High Life. High Country. That’s where I’m going.

How to Deal with Conflict.

January 10, 2013April 22, 2013 / Erin Kirk / 3 Comments

Last fall, I learned something valuable about conflict from a woman named Joyce at the LA Dream Center.

Joyce is a huge character – a native Angelino, possibly in her 30’s, with tatts up her legs, basketball shorts and a hoodie. She is one of the leaders of the Dream Center’s food truck ministry and hollers out the window as she weaves her rattletrap delivery truck through LA traffic, loudly encouraging other drivers to GET THROUGH THAT LIGHT! I’ve never seen anybody who can shout in traffic, with the love of Jesus.

Joyce is compelling because she follows Jesus in her exact context, authentically and with heart. She didn’t tell me that. I witnessed it. She is my favorite kind of Christian because the love of God sprays out of her, like water from a kinked garden hose that’s riddled with holes and turned on high.

One morning as we were unpacking, sorting and loading food into the trucks, two of the fellas were bickering about who was driving what truck where. Feeding poor people every day is hard work and I sense these guys were a little worn out and cranky. It was nothing big, just the garden variety conflict that bedevils humans every day.

Joyce stepped in, straightened it out and then said, “K everybody time to go, let’s circle up and pray.”

Then rather than sending up some big, shiny prayer, Joyce just talked to God about what was happening at that moment. It wasn’t a rebuke to the bickerers, it was just an acknowledgment that we are inadequate when it comes to loving one another properly and we need help.

She said something like this:

Father God, we thank you for this day and Lord please help us to not bicker over who is taking what truck, and to remember why we are doing this, and please help us to be kind to each other and give us your strength to go feed some hungry people. Thank you that you love us even when we are cranky. Amen.

I’ve been thinking of that prayer all week because I had a small conflict I needed to confront. I didn’t want to be unkind but I also didn’t want to be phony and pretend the conflict didn’t exist. So I thought WWJD – What Would Joyce Do?

Well, she’d pray about it, then she’d be kind but blunt. So, I did that. And it wasn’t fun but now it’s over and peace rules in my land.

I’m sure Joyce doesn’t even remember me or that bickery little moment in the parking lot last fall, but I do, and that, I think, is a great truth about Christianity.

People respond to what we do as Christians, way more than what we say. When Christians do it right, by being honest, authentic, humble and kind, especially in conflict, it sprays like a garden hose on a hot day.

Conflict is certain. Our response is discretionary. Jesus helps.

The New Year Got You Feeling Pruney?

January 6, 2013January 6, 2013 / Erin Kirk / 8 Comments

“Meh”

I haven’t posted in a few days because my mind has been a stinking, burbling cesspool of negative mental energy and I figured I’d just keep it to myself.

I think New Year’s Day can be harder than people admit. What if you don’t feel eager, motivated and confident about the future? Even my favorite bloggers are bubbling with enthusiasm for the goals they’ve set, the ten pounds they are sure to lose and the sheer excitement to see what Jesus will get up to in 2013.

Me? I’m just…Meh.

And I’m a Christian. I’m supposed to be full of joy regardless of circumstances.

Today, Pastor Dennis nailed what I already suspected was the problem: I’ve run out of gas. I’ve gotten out of my routine and haven’t spent my regular time meditating on the word of God. I’m like a plum that’s dropped to the ground, and absent my connection to the tree, I’m shriveling into prunedom.

Well now, isn’t that a lovely corner to paint yourself into? I got addicted to Jesus and now if I don’t get enough of him I’m a mopey, shriveled up mess. There is no Before Christ available to me anymore.

Making matters worse, I am reading Behind the Beautiful Forevers, a book about life in the Mumbai slums, which makes for feel guilty for whining because I have literally NOTHING to complain about.

Thanks Dennis!

But from time to time when I can’t figure out how to act, I remember to look at the gospel and find out what Jesus did. It helps. Today, Pastor Dennis pointed us to Mark 1:35 wherein Jesus got up before the sun, alone, talked to God and waited for direction.

Can it be that simple?

Yes, it can. I know because for two years, I got up at 5:30 and spent two full hours reading the bible and praying before starting my day. That time was arguably the hardest period in my life, yet this practice held things together like a good pair of spanx.

It is no different now. It’s still about practice and without it I get sloppy. Like Dennis said this morning, God is just waiting for me to stop freaking out and lock eyes with Him, so He can remind me what joy is, and how to do it.

I know I can’t do this without God, yet, amazingly, I still try.

Sometimes the New Year isn’t about grand gestures and plans; sometimes it’s just about setting the alarm.