faith

There is No Magic Wand – Only Fire.

/ Erin Kirk / 8 Comments

Galata Tower – Istanbul

The other night, while surveying my life and repeating my new favorite mantra “WTF am I doing,” my sister called. She was en route to JFK to catch the redeye back to her home in Istanbul. When she asked what I was doing, I said I was thinking of getting in the bathtub with my toaster.

When I started following Jesus like I meant it, I wasn’t banging my head and squirming under existential pressure all the time. In fact, several of my ducks fell into a quick and tidy row and I saw some inexplicably graceful things happen.

  • My cash + needy people = Demonstration of God’s provision.
  • My prayers + rival = A surprise easing of tensions.
  • My mouth + God’s word = Encouragement and joy.

Little victories like that were the C to my A+B. So naturally, I expected them to continue and grow in volume – especially as my obedience and faith grew. I’ll just keep working my righteousness and God will give me what I want. A+B=C.

Sorry baby doll, it doesn’t work like that. And BTW…your righteousness is like filthy rags, Isaiah says.

I think one of two things is happening:

a. I’m in a refining phase, growing up a little. God is burning off the old rags and rubbish that are cluttering up my yard, while increasing the difficulty of my math with equations like this, that are so far over my head I have no choice but to cling to him for solutions.

b. I’m just blowing a gasket.

Ugh, maybe I’ll cut and run. But where?

Just before Jesus was crucified some of his followers deserted him. Jesus remarked about it to Peter. Are you going to run too? He asked. Peter replied:

Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. And we have learned to believe and trust and we have come to know that you are the Holy One of God, The Christ, the Son of the Living God. John 6:63

Later that weekend, Peter denied ever knowing Jesus.

So even Apostles are unequal to the task. There is no magic wand. Following Jesus requires equal parts grit and stamina, humility and surrender – an unusual combination in humans. I want my life to leak love and demonstrate the grace of Jesus to people who don’t believe in him, but at the moment, I’ve got a raging grease fire in my kitchen.

Ironically, the only place I can find to cool off, is deep in the book that started the fire in the first place. Peter, who was later crucified upside down, says I should be happy about that:

Be exceedingly glad, though now for a little while you may be distressed by trials and suffer temptations, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1Peter 1:7

I know it won’t last forever, it just feels like it.

Help For Creating Your Art.

/ Erin Kirk / 2 Comments

John Lavery painted this portrait of Russian Ballerina Anna Pavlova in 1911. The painting is on display at a museum in Scotland, and this photograph rocketed all over Facebook last week. There’s no photo credit, so I’m guessing the tiny dancer is a Scottish lass. dancer girl

The image is a heartening reminder that the purpose of this blog and ultimately our lives is to create something so lovely and compelling that people dance in the face of it.

“Yes. Yes. I want to do that. But how and what?”

Author Seth Godin helps answer that in his recent book The Icarus Deception. In it, he explains our purpose in this warp-speed, post-industrial world. Are you ready?

Make art. Not merchandise. Art.

“Creating ideas that spread and connecting the disconnected are the two pillars of our new society and both of them require the posture of the artist.”

The rest of The Icarus Deception exhorts us with the how. How to deal with haters, writers block, blank pages, nakedness, resistance, fear and all the other things that prevent us from creating something raw and good, and shipping it to the world.

Godin insists artistry is not the domain of a chosen few. Think of all the art on YouTube and Kickstarter and in the app store. That was impossible a decade ago. Sure some of our art is no good, but we find that out, then go make better art. It’s a process.

But creating something authentic and beautiful is hard because nobody can tell you exactly how to do it, you have to sit, mine your  internal landscape and figure it out. It takes faith and huevos. I’m exploring that process here.

I know I’m on the right track when I feel like a pumpkin and somebody is scooping out my guts and sorting through them. Some of it is useful and can make a tasty snack and some of it isn’t, but when it’s done, I’m left feeling clean and prepared for whatever carving comes next.

So what makes your heart race and are you doing it?

Four Steps That Can Change Your Life – Permanently.

/ Erin Kirk / 1 Comment

When I began reading The Bible, I knew parts of it would fly in the face of my personal ideology.

Ocean and sky

(Photo credit: FnJBnN)

But since I’d exhausted every strategy for manifesting a happy and successful life, and was crying on my bed every day, I didn’t have much to lose. So, I opened my mind, committed to reading it and doing as it says. I promised myself if, after a careful reading, I just couldn’t believe it was the inspired Word of God, I wouldn’t.

Less than a week after that decision, I read this:

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His own eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely and strengthen and settle you. IPeter 5:10 AMP

Wait…God will make me what I ought to be? Like, it’s not my job? Whoa. If that’s not good news, what is?

That scripture was such a precise response to my problem, I kept reading but I had to do it on my own terms. So, initially, I shut out all the commentary, at church, on tv and from well-meaning Christians; then Jesus and I began a vigorous wrestling match, which two years later, I have completely and decidedly lost. “Whoever loses his life on my account, will find it,” Jesus said.

So that’s the why, here’s the how – at least as it worked for me:

1. I bought a new Bible – The Amplified version, but the NIV, NLT and Message translations are all good for comprehension.

2. I found 30 minutes in my day without interruptions – invariably before Sam got up. Ugh. I bit the bullet and set my alarm.

3. I opened the Gospel of John. Starting there, rather than the beginning with Genesis, kept me awake and engaged. Later John, Peter, Luke and Paul piqued my curiosity about David, Isaiah and Moses. But for the first four months, I bounced around the New Testament looking for things that surprised me, challenged me or just made me happy, and I wrote them in my journal.

4. I did it daily. This is where the rubber meets the road, and I talk a lot about the value of showing up in Going to the Sea.

Skipping Stones

(Photo credit: Exolucere)Sea. 

For years, even my churchy ones, the gospel skipped across my life, like a flat stone on water. Somehow, it would always make it to the other side and never sink in. That’s because I didn’t really think I needed Jesus. Then I found out I did.

Sometimes, the key to availing ourselves of the grace and mercy of God is having the humility to admit we need it.