So You Hear It From Me

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

The Ouibangi River. Impfondo, Congo 2013

I resigned from Mercy Ships today. My last day is December 21 –  the winter solstice, the shortest, darkest day of the year.

Am I out of my mind?

Maybe.

I’m leaving because I have books to write and friends to help and some wrestling to do with God. Not necessarily in that order.

This feels both brave and crazy, but here’s something I know: You can’t steer a horse who won’t move his feet. You must first drive him on.

I too have to walk on, even, and perhaps especially, when the path is hazy and I’m a little nervous. Following Jesus requires forward motion, and at the moment, that’s what I lack.

I’d be lying if I said I’m not afraid to step off this cool platform though.

photo-24

Tanya. Jenny. Stace. Haiti. July 2014

The opportunities I’ve had with Mercy Ships are unlike anything else. I’ve watched fireflies in Congo and brought 50 orphans to the ship for Easter. I’ve worked with hundreds of incredible Jesus followers from all over the world, and invaded their privacy on a regular basis. I love that ship and her people so much it makes me ache, but as my friend Krissy says:

In the Kingdom of God, your best days are never behind you.

And that has to be true because the Lord Jesus said, the Kingdom of God is like leaven. The only thing leaven does is make things grow and rise.

What do you want to grow? What would you like to see rise in your own life? Think about it because the world needs you operating from that place. Like asap.

For me, it’s writing books and helping stoke the fire that is burning inside you. I want to push you toward your purpose in the Kingdom of God and see you for who you are becoming, not who you currently are. Then help you get there.

But to do it, I’ve got to be brave and walk on, away from my familiar. Put bluntly, I’ve got work to do. But how many times have I demurred because I was overwhelmed by the loss of whatever I had to leave behind? What opportunities did I miss because I, perhaps rightly, didn’t trust my own judgement.

The fact is, my judgment is limited and faulty, but His is perfect. I can’t imagine how I ever did anything brave or crazy without Jesus. It’s ironic that for most of my life I thought my big, broad reach would shrink under His authority, but when I finally submitted to Him, the opposite happened. When I humbled myself enough to follow Jesus, He led me places I never dreamed I’d go.

IMG_6560

Me and Mrs. Jones. Madagascar 2015

A friend of mine has pointed me to this scripture many times.

Enlarge the place of your tent; Stretch out the curtains of your dwellings, spare not; Lengthen your cords and strengthen your pegs, for you will spread abroad to the right and to the left. And your descendants will possess nations and will resettle the desolate cities, says the Prophet Isaiah.

So that’s what I’m doing.

As long as I stay close – abiding, letting his sap run through my veins, I can walk on, trusting and following the Good Shepherd through what may be green pastures or the valley of the shadow of death. Who knows really?

Want to come along?

miller-quote

Choosing To Be Well – Three Questions

img_9165

A few months ago, Sam and I were anchored out, on a moonless Florida night, atop water that was as still and black as volcanic glass. Nothing moved. Not wind, not water, nothing. There was only perfect shiny stillness all around us.

It’s an unusual condition, so I remarked about it.

I told Sam about the time Jesus was napping in a boat during a hurricane. Fearing for their lives, his friends woke him up and accused him of not caring. Jesus got up and spoke to the storm.

“Peace, be still,” he said, and the wind died and there was great calm.

That phrase “great calm” is deceiving though. In the Greek it actually reads “dead calm,” like the water under us that night in Florida. Mariners know it takes a while for water to go dead calm after a storm, at least a day or two, if it ever happens at all.

Rightly, Jesus’ friends were terrified and said, “who is this that even the wind and waves obey him?”

As we slide into the holidays, a season that is tricky for many, including me, there are plenty of things to be anxious and unwell about. But lately I feel like the wellness I seek is a moment by moment choice. Here are three questions I’m finding helpful:

Can I let the holidays be what they are and not compare them to what “is” on television?

None of those families are real. The argumentative, dysfunctional one around the table, that’s my real one. Can I accept it?

Can I control my thoughts before I’m fully awake?

While still groggy, try answering any of these questions: What three things am I most grateful for? What are three things going well in my job? What am I excited about today? Maybe that sounds trite or naive, but it sure beats starting my day thinking about my new president. I’m not entertaining fear and anxiety first thing anymore, my thoughts are already elsewhere.

Can I be more deliberate with my time?

Spending the first and best of the morning with Jesus, usually means before sunrise. It’s then he asks me, like he did his friends in the boat, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

I’ve got some big changes coming up; ones that will surely at times feel like a hurricane or, worse yet for me, a vast snowy desert, but they are neither. They are just new lands along on the path I chose when I decided to follow Jesus like I mean it.

Truth is, Jesus told the disciples, before they got in the boat, they were going to the other side. So they were going to make it. Dead calm was a bonus.

Jesus was gracious enough to show a bunch of terrified fishermen just who they were dealing with. It was a lavish gift given to a bunch of skeptical, anxious humans who did everything possible to not deserve it.

Same Jesus. Different day.

waves-and-wind

Things I Think But Don’t Say

I was in a meeting the other day, where the speaker made an oblique and gentle reference to the upcoming US presidential election.

And seriously, you could feel the room stiffen.

It was like everyone drew a sharp breath and thought “Oh please don’t go there…This only works if we don’t talk about it.”

Well friends, I think we need to talk about it.

I think we owe it to our Republic to talk about it regularly, in civil and courageous ways. Unfollow me if you want, but nowhere in the history of ever has polite avoidance of a difficult topic lead to understanding and cooperation. Never!

So here’s me going first:

I am a blue state native living in blood red Texas. I’ve been a registered Democrat since I was 18 because the values of the Democratic party better (not completely, but better) reflect my values than those of the Republican party. I am also an ardent follower of Jesus Christ. I work in an evangelical community in the Bible belt where the electoral college will make little note of my preferences. And I’m surrounded by people of the opposite political persuasion whom I love and respect.

This picture of me and Ronald Reagan is for them. (It’s a long story, ask me sometime).

reagan

1989.

And I’m voting for Hillary Clinton because I believe she is a stable, proven, tenacious, experienced public servant who is more than qualified to lead us. Read a list of her accomplishments here.

The Dallas Morning News agrees, in its first endorsement of a Democratic presidential candidate in 75 years.

“Resume vs resume, judgement vs. judgement this election is no contest.”

– Dallas Morning News.

And no, I don’t believe the rhetoric surrounding her integrity.

It troubles me, particularly as a follower of Jesus, how regularly and casually people use the word “criminal” to describe Hillary Clinton. If the definition of criminal is having been charged and convicted of a crime before a jury of your peers, then the descriptor is not only inaccurate but slanderous.

Relentlessly investigated – Yes.

Tried in the court of public opinion – Yes.

Charged and convicted of any crime – No.

I wonder what would people say about me if, for the last 30 years, my life was the subject of endless media scrutiny and unrestrained commentary from my enemies? Yikes.

What if every day at work, I had to publicly defend myself against a guilty-until-proven innocent narrative?

I’d probably quit and go live by the sea somewhere.

I certainly wouldn’t run for Senate twice and win. I wouldn’t serve on five Senate committees and nine subcommittees and travel to 112 nations as US Secretary of State. I wouldn’t sponsor legislation to provide for sick 9-11 first responders. I wouldn’t negotiate a cease-fire between Israel and Hamas.

But Hillary Clinton did.

I often use FactCheck.org which describes itself as “a nonpartisan, nonprofit ‘consumer advocate’ for voters that aims to reduce the level of deception and confusion in U.S. politics.” It’s funded largely by The Annenberg Foundation (think public broadcasting).

Are you unsure if your favorite 24-hour news channel or Facebook meme is correct in repeating say, Trump’s claim that Clinton has no child care plan and never will? FactCheck.org is a good place to look. Politifact.com run by the Tampa Bay Times is also fun. These are journalists – not internet trolls – evaluating what exists in the public record.

Here’s a quick, measured read from FactCheck.org on the Benghazi reports, which former Secretary of State Colin Powell, in a leaked email, called a stupid witch hunt.

Here’s a guide to Clinton’s emails.

Here’s FactCheck’s take on Trump saying Obama was actually born in America, but Clinton started the birther rumor. 

And stuff like that.

The Dallas Morning News Editorial continues:

Clinton has remained dogged by questions about her honesty, her willingness to shade the truth. Her use of a private email server while secretary of state is a clear example of poor judgment. She should take additional steps to divorce allegations of influence peddling from the Clinton Foundation. And she must be more forthright with the public by holding news conferences, as opposed to relying on a shield of carefully scripted appearances and speeches. These are real shortcomings. But they pale in comparison to the litany of evils some opponents accuse her of. Treason? Murder? Her being cleared of crimes by investigation after investigation has no effect on these political hyenas; they refuse to see anything but conspiracies and cover-ups.

I agree. If Clinton had things to do over again, would she do some things differently? Wouldn’t most of us?

But here’s the thing:

If you support Trump because you don’t like the Democratic Party and you love seeing people like me apoplectic over the repulsive things Trump says, I get that. If you support Trump because he’s disrupting a political system that isn’t working very well for middle class people, I get that too. If you support Trump because he’s kind of pro life-ish these days, I see how that’s an alternative to voting for a strongly pro-choice candidate.

But in the end, do you believe Trump really wants to show up every day and work for your interests all the way through 2020? Why?

Will he work to overturn Pro-Choice legislation? Will he and his third wife restore family values? Does he really know more about ISIS than US Military Generals? Will he expand the middle class? What in his record indicates he gives a damn about the middle class?

I welcome your answers in the comment section. Really. Do your research. Be polite. I moderate trolls.

Did you know middle class incomes had their fastest growth on record last year? That’s big progress since the 2009 recession. Did you see Senator Elizabeth Warren eating the Chairman of Well’s Fargo’s lunch over the millions of fake bank accounts the company created since 2011. Also good news. ICYMI:

But you squeezed your employees to the breaking point, so they would cheat customers and you could drive up the value of your stock and put hundreds of millions of dollars in your own pocket. And when it all blew up, you kept your job, you kept your multimillion-dollar bonuses, and you went on television to blame thousands of $12-an-hour employees who were just trying to meet cross-sell quotas that made you rich. This is about accountability. You should resign. You should give back the money that you took while this scam was going on. And you should be criminally investigated by both the Department of Justice and the Securities and Exchange Commission.

– Senator Elizabeth Warren D-Massachusetts

Trump supporting friends – Has your kid has ever gone to the doctor free or at a sharp discount courtesy of the CHIP Program? You have a couple of people to thank for that, Senator Edward Kennedy, D – Massachusetts, Senator Orrin Hatch R -Utah and Hillary Clinton, who pushed for the legislation as First Lady. 

It saddens me that, in 2016, it requires a fair measure of courage to write a blog post about the presidential election. In America, of all places, that should not be true.

So I’m inviting you, without fear of censure, to disagree with me, to tell me where I’ve missed it, but I’m asking that you do so in a well-researched and measured fashion – something this election desperately needs more of. We owe it to our Republic to be lively, informed and engaged. Any less is an insult to the gift of democracy, which people in many places have died to attain.

Courage is one of my core values and I don’t want to look back on this season and wish I’d had enough of it to speak up.

The above thoughts are, as ever, entirely my own. Please help me understand yours below.